August 25, 2025

Manish Gaekwad, after writing a memoir about his mother, a courtesan in Kolkata, flips the story to himself in his new book ‘Nautch Boy’. This colorful memoir dives deep into his unusual childhood split between the lively kotha and a strict boarding school. In an engaging chat with Ketaki Desai, Manish opens up about the matriarchal, music-filled kotha world and shatters common myths about courtesans. When asked what his mother would say about this book, Manish shares, “My mother has always wanted to tell her story... if her choices in life could help somebody, then sharing her story would be worth it.” He adds that writing her story helped him be “less inhibited” about his own life. He imagines she’d hug him tightly and say, “Why didn’t you tell me this before?” Growing up in the kotha was like living in a bright, free world with no judgments. “It’s the women who run the kotha household,” Manish says. “I grew up sort of ungendered — just free to be whoever I wanted to be.” This freedom ended later, as patriarchy slowly crept in when the older women looked for men to settle with. Was violence part of his toughest childhood moments? Manish answers, “All that violence really taught me not to be violent.” He calls himself a “Gandhian in the kotha,” though Gandhi himself was not kind to courtesans. On being queer in the kotha, Manish fondly remembers how the women celebrated his queerness by dolling him up and making him perform. But boarding school was harsh. “You are told you have to walk like a boy... you can’t do feminine dances.” This made him confused about his gender identity and forced him to balance his feminine and masculine sides on his own. Manish is critical of how films like ‘Umrao Jaan’ show courtesans. “It’s a male gaze perspective... she has no agency. The tawaifs in the kotha have more agency than that.” He explains that real tawaifs decide who visits them, if they want a man, and how to live their lives. The decline of tawaif culture hit hard in the 1980s with discos and cabaret taking over. Manish recalls his mother’s reaction: “Is this talent or dance? This is just women standing around and shaking.” Unlike a tawaif’s graceful, covered dance full of eye coquetry, discos felt cheap to her. Sadly, over time, tawaif culture became mixed up with stereotypes about sex work — which Manish wants to end. Talking about publishing, Manish warns first-time authors to find an agent they trust. He says it’s tough because few Indian agents put the author first. As a scriptwriter, Manish says Hindi cinema lost its romance magic, copying western superheroes and southern angry heroes. But he’s hopeful since films like ‘Saiyaara’ are bringing love back to the big screen. Manish Gaekwad’s ‘Nautch Boy’ isn’t just a memoir — it’s a vivid, honest look at a rarely seen world, told with heart and spice.

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Tags: Manish gaekwad, Courtesan, Kolkata kotha, Queer childhood, Tawaif culture, Umrao jaan,